Quagmire: Jack Harkness, you seem to lay everyone that moves yet you're never considered a sex offender. Tell me how I can be me and still get fangirls Jack Harkness: Well that's easy my horny friend! Behold, the step by step plan to go from Karvoka Man to Sex Bomb! Number 1-You gotta be smexy! You're twice as old as you look(I beat you because I'm over 50 times older than I look), but you got a butt-ugly chin and you're as thin as bean pole. Quagmire: Remove the chin? But its been passed through the Quagmire Family for generations! Jack Harkness: And you wonder why you're so messed up Number 2-You gotta be merged with your lover! Chicks, guys and poodles don't like it when you don't treat them as equals. Act as if you're united in one pleasurable orgy.